Julian Larson and the Giant Squid of Ignorance
by I'mJustCrazyEnough17
Summary: Julian Larson, Derek Seigerson, and Logan Wright all go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and are all Slytherins. CP Coulter's Dalton!verse.
1. Chapter 1

**Hullo. I'm Helen and I'm your author for this fic! I hope you like it, and if you do, please leave a review telling me so! If you have any suggestions to make, then please review and do so. You can always message me if you want to say something privately.**

**CP Coulter owns Julian Larson, Logan Wright, Derek Seigerson, and any other characters that I happen to mention that sound oddly familiar to you from a certain fanfiction that I like to call **_**Dalton**_**.**

**J.K. Rowling owns pretty much everything else.**

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**Please?**

**Without further ado, I present to you…**

**Chapter 1**

Julian Larson pulled the Sorting Hat down over his head. It fell across his eyes and came to rest on his nose. His ears were pushed forward. It was very uncomfortable, and it smelled musty.

"_Hmmm,_" said a voice in his head. Julian waited patiently. _"Smart, very smart… Ambitious… Common sense… Curious… Do I detect some pride?"_ The Sorting Hat paused, Julian waited with baited breath. "SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table erupted, and Julian pulled the Sorting Hat off his head. He set it down carefully on the stool and glanced at the line of first years behind him, all looking nervous. Some were biting their nails, some were playing with their robes, others were carrying their wands in their hands.

Julian smirked at them, glad that he'd already gone and they had yet to. He strode across the rows of tables, completely at ease in front of people. He sat somewhere in the middle of the Slytherin table and, grinning, high fived the boy across from him.

He hadn't really cared _what_ House he was in, honestly. He knew he probably wouldn't be a Hufflepuff, because he wasn't nice to people. He knew he probably wouldn't be a Gryffindor, because he wasn't necessarily brave. He figured it boiled down to either Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and he didn't really care which one.

* * *

><p>Derek Seigerson tugged the Sorting Hat over his eyes. He puffed out his chest. He knew he'd be in Slytherin because his parents had been in Slytherin. And you usually get into the House your parents are in, or at least that was what his dad told him.<p>

The Sorting Hat almost made him a Ravenclaw. (_"You want to exceed here, you're very smart, you enjoy schoolwork… That makes you a Ravenclaw."_) But then Derek shook his head and thought, "No way, I'm a Slytherin." And lo and behold, the Hat shouted "SLYTHERIN!" into the silent Great Hall, and Derek took it off, grinning.

So maybe the rumors _were_ true. Maybe you really _could_ choose your House. He wouldn't tell his parents though. Because they'd be quite upset if they knew he was almost a Ravenclaw. That was the second best House, of course, but Derek wanted to carry on the family legacy of being in Slytherin. It was a point of pride, even though Slytherins got a bad name, especially since the Second Wizarding War in which quite a few of them had turned into Death Eaters.

* * *

><p>"<em>Well, well, well. Logan Wright, eh? Let's see. You've got mighty plans for your future, don't you? And you're wise. And you have a temper that you cannot control? That would make you perfect for…<em>" Logan sighed. He already knew what he'd be. What his parents were and their parents and their brothers and sisters. "SLYTHERIN!"

Oh, well. He'd already known he'd be in Slytherin. As much as he hoped that he might be a Gryffindor, Logan knew he wasn't brave enough. He yanked off the Sorting Hat and threw it back onto the stool. He strode over to the Slytherin table and took a seat, sulking, next to a few other new Slytherins whose names he hadn't been paying attention to.

His parents probably would've disowned him if he'd been Gryffindor anyway. And Logan didn't belong in Gryffindor. He really was a Slytherin…

He'd heard that sometimes if you asked the Sorting Hat to be in a certain House, you might actually get in that House. But that was probably just a rumor, because the person who told him that (Cal Johnson from down the street, who was a Hufflepuff and who he probably wouldn't be allowed to play with when they went back home next summer) also said that Harry Potter had almost been put into Slytherin but he asked for Gryffindor. And that was just totally fake. Logan discounted most of the stuff Cal said.

* * *

><p>'<em>Dear Mum,<em>

_I'm in Slytherin! I'm so glad. Are you glad? It was terrible because the Sorting Hat smells _so_ bad, but I'm glad to be in Slytherin. _

_Can't write much now, but I'll write you tomorrow to tell about my first day of classes._

_Oh, and I haven't made any friends yet but I'm sure I will._

_Love,_

_Julian'_

* * *

><p>'<em>Dear Mum and Dad,<em>

_Slytherin! The second I put it on my head the Sorting Hat shouted 'SLYTHERIN!' Of course. Let's just hope Amanda gets in Slytherin too…_

_Love,_

_Derek'_

* * *

><p>'<em>Dear Dad,<em>

_I'm in Slytherin! Fantastic! I'd write more but I have to go to bed now because classes start tomorrow as you know._

_Love,_

_Logan'_

* * *

><p>"Excuse me." Julian cleared his throat and poked the prefect nearest him. The boy looked up from his game of Wizard's Chess, annoyed.<p>

"Yes?" he asked.

"Could you direct me to the Owlery?" Julian asked, telling himself to be brave, be brave, this guy wasn't going to _kill_ him. Or yell at him. Just for asking a simple question.

But the guy _did_ roll his eyes. "Does anyone know where the Owlery is who can take this kid there?" he called in a loud, lazy voice.

"I do." Another first year that Julian had seen be Sorted after him popped into view from an armchair next to one of the big green lamps.

"You're a first year," the prefect drawled.

"I've been here before with my father," the boy said calmly, standing up. "I know where it is, it's easy."

"The Owlery is all the way across the castle," another boy said, standing up from where he'd been sitting on the floor because all the other seats were taken. "You can't find it that easy."

"You're a first year, too," the prefect said. "It's attack of the first years! Everybody run!" There was laughter that echoed across the dark walls of the common room.

The blonde boy who had first stood up glared around at everyone. Julian just stood there. These people were Slytherins, he was a Slytherin, he should laugh too. So he chuckled faintly, something reminiscent of an actual laugh.

"My name is Derek," the brunette boy who was shorter than Julian said, sticking out a hand.

"Julian." Julian shook.

"Logan," the blonde boy said distractedly, still glaring at everyone.

"Do you really know where the Owlery is, _Logan_?" the prefect said, saying his name like it was a bad thing.

"Yes." Logan turned fiery green eyes on the prefect. "And I will take Julian there."

"Can I go too?" Derek asked, holding up a letter he had in his hand. "I have to take this up there to my owl."

"Do you remember the password?" the prefect asked, suppressing a laugh.

"Of course." Logan rolled his eyes.

"'First years are idiots,'" the three first years said together.

"I came up with that one," another boy said, laughing at his own genius. "Do you like it?"

Logan just turned around, and Derek and Julian, after glancing at each other nervously, followed their new friend.

Once they were out in the hallway and Derek and Julian had flanked Logan, Logan said with more than a hint of pride, "My father is on the board of directors at Hogwarts."

"So that's how you know where the Owlery is?" Julian asked, sounding stupid but he had to make conversation.

Logan rolled his eyes and didn't respond as they passed a tapestry of a boy killing a snake with a gleaming sword. "That's new," he said, pointing to it.

"That's Neville Longbottom!" Derek said excitedly, pausing to look at it. Logan grabbed the sleeve of his robe and pulled him away.

"Of course it is," Logan snapped. "Why wouldn't they have a picture of him here?"

"Don't you like Neville Longbottom?" Julian asked, tripping over his feet in the effort to keep up with Logan, who was walking very fast.

"I do," Logan said, "it's just…he's a teacher here."

"I know that," Derek said, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knows that."

"So I'm just saying it's not unusual for there to be a tapestry of him! There's ones of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley and Rem-"

"We get the point," Julian said loudly, cutting him off. "If you literally list every single famous person in the Second Wizarding War we'll be up till like midnight."

"I think that's the norm," Logan said grumpily. "For Slytherins. I think they are always really overtired. That's why they're so pissy." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Speaking of pissy…" Derek said, laughing.

Julian laughed too, but then caught sight of Logan's face and stopped laughing. "You don't like Slytherins, do you?" he asked.

"Of course I do," Logan said, looking at him like it was the single most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"No, you don't," Derek said wisely. "But don't worry."

"We'll keep it a secret," Julian said, putting his arm around Logan. "Now do we go right or left?" he asked, peering down the corridors on either side of them.

"I have no idea," Logan said, and the three of them burst into laughter.

And that was how Julian Larson, Derek Seigerson, and John Logan Wright the Third became best friends on their first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!**

**Please drop me a review to let me know what you think, good or bad.**

**As usual, J.K. Rowling owns Hogwarts and all that Harry Potter-y stuff, and CP Coulter owns Julian, Derek, Logan, and all that Dalton stuff.**

**Just so everyone knows: There will be a few chapters for each year of school. So there will be an average of five for each year, maybe, depending on how much goes down that year. So expect this fanfic to be…long.**

**Chapter 2**

"Cheer up." Julian took a sip from his pumpkin juice. "He'll write back tomorrow."

"You said that yesterday," Logan said glumly, head in his hands.

Julian patted Logan's back. "D'you know where Derek is?" he asked, craning his neck to look around the Great Hall, full of students eating their breakfasts, taking their time because it was a Saturday.

"No." Logan sighed. "I wish he'd write me back."

"He will. I promise." Julian caught sight of his new friend, smiled, and waved Derek over. "Derek's here," he said to Logan, pulling his hand away so he could continue eating.

It was the first Saturday of the year, and Derek would be ditching them for Quidditch tryouts, as Julian and Logan had been reminded multiple times each hour for the past week.

"Ugh." Derek sat down. "I have _Quidditch tryouts_ today and I freaking cannot feel my butt."

"Too much information," Logan said into his hands.

"Derek… I've never seen anyone fly a broom like you do at eleven years old. Except maybe Harry Potter but I've never seen him fly a broom in real life…though there's that one picture in Harry Potter Weekly... Anyway. Logan," Julian jerked his thumb at Logan, "can't even get 20 feet off the ground."

"Shut up," Logan groaned, lifting his face out of his hands and staring down at his breakfast. Julian took a piece of bacon from his own plate and threw it onto Logan's.

"Eat," he commanded. "You'll be hungry."

"What's got you down?" Derek asked Logan, stuffing scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"My dad _still_ hasn't written me back," Logan said, pushing the bacon around on his plate with his finger.

Julian grabbed Logan's hand, made his pointer finger and thumb close around the bacon, and brought his hand up to his mouth. "Eat," he said.

Logan glared at him, but he opened his mouth and allowed Julian to gently push the bacon inside Logan's mouth. Then with his other hand, Julian pushed up on Logan's chin so his mouth closed.

"I can't make you chew," Julian said when Logan sat there with the bacon just sitting inside his mouth.

"Could you two _be_ more of a couple please?" Derek asked, annoyed, mouth full of half a roll.

Julian whipped his head around to face Derek. "I'm straight," he said testily. "So no, we can't be a couple."

Derek held his hands up (one holding half a roll) in surrender. "Okay. Sorry. Didn't know it was such a sore subject."

There was an awkward silence. "It's not," Julian said after a minute. "I'm fine with whatever somebody chooses to be, you know?"

Both Derek and Julian became aware that Logan had been oddly silent during this whole conversation, so in unison, they turned toward Logan. "Logan…" Julian poked Logan, who was staring at what was left of Julian's bacon in his hand. "What about you?"

"Me?" Logan looked up. "Oh, I'm straight too." He laughed. "Sorry, I just got lost in thought."

"What about?" Derek asked curiously.

"Nothing," Logan snapped. He stuffed the rest of the bacon in his mouth, and Julian applauded him.

"You're eating on your own!" he exclaimed, grinning.

"I have to go to Quidditch tryouts," Derek said, standing up, still holding his half a roll. "See you guys later?"

"Yeah," Julian said.

"Try not to get into too much trouble while I'm gone," Derek said jokingly.

Julian rolled his eyes. Logan stared at his empty hand.

* * *

><p>"Look!" Logan pointed to the lake and when Julian whipped his head around to look, the blonde doubled over in laughter. "Made you look," he said through his laughter.<p>

Julian glared at him. "I thought maybe you saw the Giant Squid."

Logan made a _psh_ noise and continued walking. They had a few hours to kill before lunch, so Julian and Logan had decided to walk down to the Quidditch pitch to see if they could catch part of Derek's tryout.

"You're a jerk," Julian said, pushing into Logan with his shoulder. Logan stumbled sideways, only to right himself and push Julian with both of his hands.

"Hey!" Julian exclaimed, pushing Logan back. Julian was strong and Logan almost fell, but he didn't. He threw himself at Julian, though, angry eyes flashing dangerously. Julian toppled backwards, not expecting Logan's full weight to be thrown at him. He landed in the grass and immediately threw Logan off of him, glaring at the blonde as he scrambled to stand up.

Logan grabbed his hand and pulled him back down, but then he didn't do anything else. Julian was back in the grass, angled toward Logan, body tensed, waiting for Logan to attack. But Logan looked strangely calm all of a sudden.

"What was that?" Julian asked. "I didn't do anything!"

Logan didn't respond, just stared at Julian, as if he was memorizing his face but that made no sense because Julian would be around for the next nine months.

"Sometimes," Logan said, staring at Julian still, "I get…angry." He didn't say anything else, and Julian was a little afraid to say anything, so they laid there in the grass looking at each other for awhile until Julian decided it was awkward. He stood up and brushed off his pants, then he reached out and offered a hand to Logan. Logan took it and stood up. And then, still holding hands, they walked to the Quidditch pitch.

* * *

><p>There were some people sitting in the stands in small groups of two or three, and Julian and Logan sat in the very top row near the center of the pitch, because Logan liked heights. They made Julian a bit squeamish but he wasn't about to tell Logan.<p>

Julian rolled up the sleeves of his robes, because it was pretty hot that day. The sun came through the clouds, and you could tell that the players on the pitch were squinting. Derek would have lots of complaints about this later, surely.

"He's so annoying," Logan said as Derek zoomed onto the pitch on his broom and took one of the Quaffles from the captain. Grinning, he tossed it up in the air, caught it, flew straight for the goals on one end of the pitch, and threw the Quaffle easily into the smallest ring. There was an appreciative 'ooh' from the assembled Slytherins.

"He's kind of…" Julian searched for a word that wasn't too mean, watching Derek fly around the pitch on his broom. (First years had been allowed brooms ever since it had gotten out to the general public that Harry Potter was allowed to have a broom of his own in his first year.) "Arrogant."

"Try _really_ arrogant." Logan sighed. "Oh, well, I guess we all have our problems."

"Yeah, we do," Julian agreed as Derek threw the Quaffle into the bigger hoop. He could tell that Derek was grinning, loving this. "He'll make it," Julian said confidently. "He's really good."

"He wants to be a Chaser, right?"

Julian just looked at him. "Haven't you been paying attention at all? He drew a freaking _chart_."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I know. But wasn't the Chaser part the biggest section of the pie chart?"

"No, Seeker was." Julian leaned in to whisper conspiratorially in Logan's ear. "I think Derek wants to be Harry Potter."

Logan laughed. "A Slytherin Harry Potter… The irony."

Julian laughed, too, and a sunbeam hit the two of them, blinding them momentarily so they couldn't see anything.

* * *

><p>"I'm a <em>Chaser<em>?" Derek stared at the list, open-mouthed.

Julian put an arm around his new friend and said, "It's okay. Really. You were so good at it during the tryouts, I'm sure you'll be great. Besides. You're a first year! It's great that you're even _on_ the team." He squeezed Derek's shoulder and pulled him away from the list posted on the bulletin board in the common room. He led him to the hallway that led off into the boys' Slytherin dorms.

Derek stopped just outside their room. "Wait. What if Logan laughs at me?" he whispered.

"He won't," Julian replied softly, calmly. "He's not mean like that…to his friends."

They were both silent for a moment, remembering the first time had Logan gotten angry – like _really _angry – at them. It was only the second day of school, and he'd put the wrong amount of frog's hearts into his cauldron in Potions class, and it had turned a sickly yellow color and started fizzing. Julian and Derek had laughed and Logan had pushed them both into the wall. Julian's shoulders had hurt for the rest of the day.

"And besides, Chaser was the third biggest part of your pie chart." Julian smiled and clapped Derek on the shoulder in a big brotherly way. "You'll be absolutely fine."

Derek just sighed. "I wish I was Seeker."

"Seeker's boring," came a voice from the doorway. The two brunettes turned, surprised, to see Logan standing there. "You just look for this little thing and when you can't find it, you're just floating there all bored." He paused and when Julian and Derek just stared at him, he added, "It's boring."

Julian blinked. Was Logan honestly trying to _comfort_ someone? Or was Julian dreaming?

"C'mon, let's go to lunch." Logan walked past Julian and Derek, who had no choice but to follow him, still stunned.


	3. Chapter 3

**HI! Please consider leaving a review if you're reading this, and if you have already left a review, thank you so much!**

**CP Coulter and JK Rowling own everything.**

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**Just a quick note: This story takes place a few years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Maybe like 5 or so. It doesn't really matter, but that explains why the same teachers are there and all that stuff.**

**And please remember that Julian, Logan, and Derek are only eleven here.**

**Chapter 3**

The days passed quickly for Julian, and before he knew it, snow had fallen across the grounds and the corridors were freezing cold. He, Logan, and Derek huddled together while they queued for their last class before Christmas break. "Are you staying?" Julian asked, wrapped tightly in his robes.

"Nah," Logan said, sighing. "How about you guys?"

"No way." Derek shook his head. "You are, right, Jules?"

"I was going to. I asked to stay here. But my mum said no." Julian rolled his eyes. "She's been…really annoying lately in her letters. She's always bugging me about stuff and it gets really obnoxious because it's like, I'm eleven and I'm turning twelve in January, I can handle myself, you know?"

"You're _only_ eleven," Derek said softly, so quietly that Julian almost didn't hear him.

"Shut up," Julian snapped. "Besides, we're going on holiday and guess who we're visiting."

"Who?" Logan asked, looking at him with the brightest green eyes, full of brightness and curiosity. Julian stared into them, realizing that they looked like Christmas trees.

"Your eyes are the color of Christmas trees," he said, almost in a trance. He didn't know why.

"Shut up." Logan cast his eyes down to the floor.

"Don't be embarrassed," Derek chimed in. "They're kind of cool."

"They're _really_ cool," Julian said, turning to Derek. He was in an argumentative mood all of a sudden.

"Who are you visiting?" Logan asked again, changing the subject, clearly uncomfortable.

"Huh?" Julian blinked, and then remembered what he'd been talking about. "Oh, right. My _cousins_. I _hate_ my cousins. They are _so_ annoying, they're like three years younger than me and they always think I want to play these little kid games with them which I don't because as we've been over I am _eleven_. Almost twelve. So I asked if I could stay here. I thought it might be kind of cool. But she said maybe next year."

"At least your mum actually wants you around," Logan said grumpily. "My dad is just taking me like a charity project or something." Before Julian could address it, Professor McGonagall was shepherding everyone into the room.

"Today we'll be turning these teacups," she said once everyone had taken their seats (Julian and Logan at a table together, and Derek across the aisle with a girl he liked. He'd been hanging around her a lot lately, staying up late at night telling Julian and Logan all about her, much to the chagrin of both Julian and Logan and the other boy who lived in their dorm who none of them particularly liked: Zane. Eventually Zane had accused him of having a Babbling Curse put on him, and Logan got mad and tried to use a Banishing Charm on Zane but it was hard and he didn't really know how well it worked on a person anyway. Needless to say, Zane stayed where he was.) "Excuse me, class," Professor McGonagall said now, loudly. "Pay attention or _you_ will become the teacups."

Everyone got silent at once and looked up at her. "Today," she repeated slowly, "we will be turning these teacups into plates."

The class groaned. Boring. But Logan turned to Julian with a grin on his face. "I love Transfiguration," he said, pulling his wand out of his bag.

"I know." Julian smiled and pulled his own wand out. "But I do have a question."

Professor McGonagall interrupted him by showing the class the spell they needed to do, and explaining for the millionth time that it was 'all in the wrist.'

"What's your question?" Logan asked as everyone around them began the attempt to turn teacups into plates.

"Why do you like Transfiguration so much?" Julian tried doing it but failed miserably – his teacup just did a little flop on the table. "And don't tell me it's just because you're good at it."

Logan rolled his eyes and performed the spell almost perfectly – his plate had a handle, but it was much better than Derek's, whose teacup had actually turned into a goblet. Derek grimaced at them. That morning he'd been talking about how he was going to impress the girl, Sylvia, with his Transfiguration skills. He'd been working with Logan in the evenings on it, but it apparently hadn't done much good.

It was no wonder; Logan wasn't exactly the most patient teacher. Julian had to keep interjecting to make sure Logan didn't turn Derek into a rat or something. Not that Logan would actually be able to do that.

"Because," Logan said, and he tried the spell again, this time succeeding and turning to beam at Julian, "I like the idea of changing something. And making it what it isn't." He looked sad for a second. "Sometimes things are a certain way and I wish they were a different way." He looked down at his perfect plate, nodded satisfactorily, and then looked at Julian's teacup. "Uh. Jules? Your teacup is still a teacup."

"And you are still rude." Julian harrumphed and then looked at Logan with pleading eyes. "Teach me?"

Logan sighed and covered Julian's hand that held the wand with his own. "Do this…"

* * *

><p>Julian waved as Derek was led away by his parents. "Bye! I'll see you when we get back!"<p>

"Wait!" Derek turned around and ran back to Julian and Logan, who were standing in the middle of Platform 9¾. "What do you want for your birthday?" he asked quickly.

"Chocolate," was the first thing to pop into Julian's mind, so he said it.

"Okay." Derek shrugged. "See you Jules! Lo!" And he turned and walked away.

"What else do you want?" Logan asked, hands folded across his chest, a smirk on his face. "Certainly there must be something other than chocolate…"

"Well you'll just have to be creative and think of something on your own, because I have no ideas."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I'll just make you a card or something."

"That would be terribly rude."

Julian's mum found him then, and she grabbed his hand (he tried to pull away but she wouldn't let him) and tugged him away from Logan.

"Bye!" he called. "I'll see you in a few weeks!"

"Write to me! I'll write to you!" Logan called back, waving.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Logan,<em>

_I wish you could see how annoying they are. My cousins. I can't stand them. I wish you were here so you could turn them into plates. Or punch them in the face, you could do that too. _

_My mom was happy to see me, though, so that's one plus. Sometimes I feel like she only likes me because I'm kind of like my dad. But that's depressing so we won't get into that. _

_Write me back if you haven't already… Maybe our owls will pass each other._

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_My cousins are so annoying and my aunt and uncle are annoying too and can you please come on your broomstick and save me? PLEASE? _

_Speaking of broomsticks, I hope you're practicing because we're going to get our butts kicked by Gryffindor in the next game if you don't score like 100 points for us._

_Anyway, hope your Christmas goes well! Two days left to get me a Christmas present. Except you don't have to, remember. You just have to get me extra chocolate for my birthday. So two days left to get Logan a Christmas present._

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Julian,<em>

_My Christmas is terrible. Probably better than yours with your crazy cousins, but my parents are NOT letting me practice Quidditch because it's too cold._

_I HATE THEM._

_Next year we're all staying at Hogwarts, okay?_

_From,_

_Derek_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Logan,<em>

_You haven't written me yet and it's been five days. Did you die? Did your owl die? Did your dad die? Did ANYONE die?_

_WRITE TO ME._

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_My holiday is good._

_I'm fine and so is everybody else._

_From,_

_Logan_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_Has Logan written to you? He hasn't written to me. Do you think he's okay? He said he would write. He told me at King's Cross._

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Julian,<em>

_Barely. He sent me two sentences on a scrap of parchment. Do you think he's okay?_

_From,_

_Derek_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Logan,<em>

_How was your Christmas? Was it good? Will you answer these questions in the letter that you send? Will you send a letter? Did you forget about me? Why did you forget about me? Why did you write to Derek and not me? Did you meet another guy that's a better friend to you?_

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p>"Bye, Cal." Logan waved, his fingers catching on the air and dropping to his side as Cal Johnson slipped out of view, into his car. Cal waved back through the glass, smiling.<p>

Logan frowned as the car got smaller and smaller in the distance.

"We need to leave, too, Logan," his father said, grabbing Logan's sweatshirt and pulling him roughly toward the car.

Logan stumbled and, catching his balance, glared up at his father. "I was just saying good-bye to my friend."

"Your friend." John Logan Wright Jr. seemed nonplussed as Logan got into the car and slammed the door behind him. He crossed his arms and sulked all the way to London.

* * *

><p>"Well, well, well." Derek and Julian were sitting across from each other, both in the middle of their benches, in a compartment near the front end of the Hogwarts Express. Julian had spoken first, after looking at Logan for a few tense moments. "Look who decided to acknowledge our existence."<p>

Logan entered the compartment and sat down heavily next to Derek. "Not now."

"What happened?" Julian asked, kind of upset that Logan was sitting next to Derek and not him. Julian and Logan were closer than Logan and Derek were because Derek was always at Quidditch practice and was always working really hard on homework and stuff and Julian and Logan were always hanging out together while he was busy.

"Nothing." Logan put his fingers on his cheeks and clawed downward toward his neck.

"Doesn't seem like-"

"I just realized some stuff that I didn't like, okay? Get over it, Larson!" Logan shouted this and Julian pressed against the back of his seat. The train started moving and he realized that none of them had waved to their parents.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Just _don't_ talk to me." Logan then crossed his arms over his chest, turned to Derek, and said, "How was your Christmas break?"

And then he ignored Julian for the rest of the train ride.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, dear readers! Thank you for reading, adding this to story alert, favorite stories, et cetera. Thank you for leaving reviews, they make my day each time! **

**As always, I don't own anything in this story. Julian, Logan, and Derek belong to CP Coulter, and Hogwarts and Diagon Alley and everything else belongs to JK Rowling. The only thing that is actually mine is Cal.**

**So a quick note: We need to remember that in this story, Logan and Derek are eleven (Derek's birthday is in the spring and Logan's is in the summer, in my mind) and Julian is twelve (by the end of this chapter). That being said, eleven-twelve year olds don't come out of the closet. Half the time they don't even realize they're gay. Logan is starting to realize it in this chapter, or at least his suspicions have been confirmed. Most likely, Logan won't be coming out of the closet until third year. **

**If any part of this chapter confuses you, PLEASE let me know. I wasn't sure if it was clear enough exactly what's going on with Logan. You can review or message me or send me an ask on tumblr (flightofdeathfrench). I'm always open to explaining, and if enough people are like "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WOMAN?" then I'll just make it more clear in the next chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 4**

Logan talked to Julian a very minimal amount for the week between returning to Hogwarts and Julian's birthday. He was most definitely ignoring Julian on purpose, but Julian couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like Julian had _done_ anything to him – Julian had written Logan multiple letters, and none of them had said anything that would make Logan angry at him.

Derek tried asking Logan why he was angry at Julian, but Logan refused to tell. So Julian told him, in low tones while they were brushing their teeth in the bathroom and Logan was using the toilet, to drop it. That Logan would _have_ to come around eventually, or face an awkward 6½ more years at Hogwarts.

Julian really hoped Logan wouldn't prefer the latter.

He tried to sound confident in front of Derek, though, like he knew exactly what was going on and he wasn't upset about it at all.

But he was.

On the night before his birthday, after Derek, Logan, and Zane were asleep, buried under their covers, hangings wrapped around their beds, Julian carefully, silently pulled back the emerald green hangings on his own bed. He crept toward the 'window' that wasn't really a window; it was just an enchanted portrait that had been put up after enough people complained about the lack of windows in the dungeons.

It was sort of weird to look at the portrait and think, _Well, that's not really a window. You have no way of knowing if that's really what's out there. Maybe it's not actually a waxing crescent – maybe it's a full moon. Maybe there are no stars. Or maybe it's cloudy and you can't tell. You just have to trust that what you see in this portrait is what's really there._

Julian didn't trust that, though. He wanted to know what exactly was outside. He didn't trust that what he saw was what was really there. That was the kind of person he was, and maybe there was a reason he was that way, but if there was he didn't know it.

.

Julian awoke on the morning of his birthday to Logan bouncing on his bed. "GET UP GET UP GET UP!" Logan was shouting.

Julian blinked and was trying to figure out what was going on (wasn't Logan mad at him?) when Zane said, "Shut up, it's too early to get up."

Derek joined Logan and Julian on Julian's bed, holding two boxes, one not wrapped at all (it was shoe box) and one wrapped nicely in brown paper with a red bow on the top. "These are your presents!" he said.

"My presents?" Julian was still a little disoriented, but he was beginning to gather that it was his birthday. "From both of you?"

"Duh," Logan said, grabbing one of the boxes out of Derek's hand and thrusting it toward Julian. "Here. His is chocolate, you already know that."

Derek whacked him on the arm but Logan ignored him.

Logan put the box on Julian's chest, and it pushed Julian back down flat on the bed.

"Can't…breathe…" he choked out.

Logan, a look of alarm on his face, quickly grabbed the large box off Julian's chest. "Here." He held it out to the birthday boy, who sat up and rubbed his eyes before taking the box. He set it on the bed in front of him, and as Logan looked on eagerly and Derek watched curiously, he tore the wrapping off ("Hey, careful with the wrapping!") ("It's just stupid wrapping paper, Logan. I didn't even bother to wrap mine.") ("Well I wanted _mine_ to look nice!") and slit the tape closing the box. He opened it and saw –

"Wizard's chess?" His eyes got big as he stared at the brand new, perfect condition wizard's chess set. "How did you _get_ this?"

"My dad took me and my f-friend," he stumbled on the word friend, "to Diagon Alley for Christmas shopping and I bought you that." He was blushing slightly.

"How did you buy it?" Derek asked, leaning in closer so he could see, as Julian began unpacking the pieces.

"I got money for Christmas." Logan grinned. "So you like it?"

"The one I have at home is all banged up and all the pieces have chips in them from years of going at each other." Julian pulled a knight out and squealed delightedly as it pulled its sword and poked at his hand. "I love wizard's chess!"

"I was hoping…" Logan was shy all of a sudden. "I was hoping you'd play it with me."

Julian's smile faded slowly, a look of seriousness replacing it on his face, and he turned big brown eyes up to Logan. "You want to play with me?" he asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper, because if he were to say it out loud and Logan were to tell him that no, Julian was being ridiculous and actually could he have the wizard's chess set back please? then Julian would feel like it was okay because he hadn't actually asked out loud. He hadn't really put himself out there for rejection.

"Yeah." Logan smiled in what he hoped was a normal, 'why-wouldn't-i?' way.

.

"_Who's that for?" Cal asked, adjusting his Hufflepuff scarf on his neck (it was too tight, he felt weird, like he was choking)._

"_For my friend." Logan put the chess set on the counter of the store and cleared his throat loudly, like he'd seen his father do, to get the attention of the witch running the shop._

"_Who's your friend?" Cal asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice._

"_Julian." Logan pulled out his money sack and carefully extracted the correct amount. He placed it on the counter and waited while the witch counted it._

"_Who's Julian?" Cal asked._

"_My _friend_," Logan said loudly, annoyed._

"_Do you like him?" Cal asked._

_Logan's eyes got wide in alarm and he shoved Cal away from him. "Go wait outside. I'll be out in a minute and then we can leave."_

"_It was just a question!" Cal held up his hands in defense. "I didn't mean do you _like him_ like him. Obviously. He's a _guy_."_

"_Go." Logan's voice was low and menacing, but he flashed the witch a smile as she handed him the box containing the chess set._

_Logan waited until Cal was outside to say to the witch, "Could you wrap this please? I'm not very good at wrapping and I want it to look nice…"_

"_Sure." She smiled at him and took the box, placed it on the counter, and asked, "What color?"_

_Logan thought. Brown. That was the color of Julian's eyes. "Brown."_

_The witch waved her wand and a roll of paper appeared on the counter. She waved it again and the paper wrapped itself around the box, making neat folds and creases, taping itself, and a red bow even appeared on the top. _

"_Is that alright?" the witch asked._

"_Perfect." Logan picked up the box carefully and held it with both hands so he wouldn't drop it. "Thanks."_

.

"_You're weird, Logan." Cal examined the brand new broomstick lying on the ground in front of them. "You want me to give you flying lessons? Why? Aren't you a good flyer?"_

"_No." Logan shivered and pulled his hat down over his forehead. "Julian and Derek are way better than me."_

"_So what?" Cal picked up the broomstick and looked at it closely. "This is really nice…"_

"_My dad got it for me for Christmas." Logan was trying to change the subject so they could stop talking about _why_ Logan wanted flying lessons, and just _start_ the flying lessons._

"_Well… I can't teach you how to fly. I have to go in for dinner in a few minutes. Ask Derek to do it when we get back to school, he's on Slytherin's Quidditch team, isn't he?" Cal looked at Logan. "Are you okay?"_

_Logan was staring at Cal, unblinking, trying to figure something out. "Yeah, I'm fine." He tried to look away but he wasn't sure he could._

"_You just seem like…maybe you're getting sick or something." Cal put his hand on Logan's arm. He was going to say something comforting, but he didn't, because the look in Logan's eyes was creeping him out. Logan had gotten all stiff and he wasn't moving and he was just _staring_. Almost like… _

"_I have to go," Cal said abruptly. "Sorry, Logan. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Logan stared at the fence separating their houses long after Cal had climbed over it and dropped down on the other side._

_Then he picked up the broomstick from where Cal had dropped it in the snow, and he threw it as far as he could. He kicked the ground and he kicked the nearby oak tree that he and Cal used to climb. He punched the side of his house until his knuckles bled. And then he punched himself._


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, lovely readers! I hope you enjoy this next installment of Julian Larson et cetera, as I like to call it. CP Coulter and JK Rowling own everything, I own next to nothing.**

**The end of this chapter marks the end of PART 1, but don't fret, PART 2 will come really really really soon (I can't say HOW soon because I don't know when episode 26 will be updated and I'll have to wait until everyone, including myself, calms down after that to update).**

**Follow me on tumblr if you DARE: flightofdeathfrench. :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

"Here." Derek threw a green and silver tie at Logan. "This is yours, I believe."

"No way!" Logan examined the tie. "This is Jules's." He threw it at Julian, who was carefully packing up his chess set.

"Hey!" Julian picked it up from where it had landed on the bed. "This is _definitely_ yours, Lo." He tossed it to Logan.

"Take it." Logan threw it back at Derek. "Consider it a gift."

Derek rolled his eyes and put it into his trunk.

Julian continued wrapping his chess pieces into bubble wrap, humming a bit as he did so. Logan stopped sorting his socks (they'd all gotten mixed up and at least 5 single socks had gone missing) and watched Julian carefully place a castle piece into the box.

Logan cleared his throat and Julian looked up. "Uh, next year we can play more and I'll definitely beat you at least once," Logan said, smiling a little.

Julian nodded like it was obvious. "Yeah, of course we'll play more, but there's no way you're going to beat me even once."

Logan looked relieved (he had been worried that Julian might want to make new friends next year and ditch him). "Not a chance," he taunted, returning to the mystery of his socks. "Did either of you by any chance find an extra sock anywhere?"

"Did you check under the bed?" Derek was sitting on his trunk, trying to get it to close on top of all his clothes and belongings haphazardly thrown inside.

Logan dropped down onto the floor and peered first under his bed, then Julian's, and finally crawled over to Derek's. "Nothing." He stood up and brushed off his hands.

Julian was dangling a sock in front of his face. "Found it."

Logan snatched it. "Thanks for telling me _before_ got my clothes all dirty!"

"It's just the floor," Derek said, taking out his wand and trying to figure out a spell to close his trunk.

"It's _dirty_. We've been walking on it all year and when do you think it gets cleaned?" Logan looked from Derek to Julian (who had returned to the chess set). "Never! It never gets cleaned. I'm bringing something to clean it with next year because-"

"Shut up," Derek said, and Logan came to a full stop, looking at his friend in surprise. "Just take your overly-girlyness somewhere else for the time being, please."

Logan's mouth fell open and Julian stopped packing his chess set. Even Zane, who hadn't spoken to any of them in about a month, stopped what he was doing to watch.

"What did you just say?" Logan asked, balling his fists.

"You were freaking out about the floor being dirty," Derek said defensively. "That's just kind of…" He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Feminine."

Logan's eyes got huge and he turned his back on Derek, throwing things into his trunk now, fast as he could. He'd been taking his time before, but now he couldn't _wait_ to get out of there. To leave school. Go home.

Not that spending the summer with his dad would be any better.

And _especially _not spending the summer with Cal, because he was fairly certain that Cal hated him.

But this time he would actually write to Julian. He wasn't scared anymore. He was confused, yes, and he had suspicions about himself that he didn't like, but he wasn't scared, not of Julian.

.

"Bye! See you next year! _Write to me_!" Julian waved at Derek and Logan standing next to each other on the platform. Then he remembered something and he looked up to his mum. "Wait, hold on a second." He let go of her hand (she'd been dragging him away from his friends) and ran back to them. "_Your_ birthday," he pointed to Logan, is July 22nd. And _yours_ is August 8th."

"Right," Logan and Derek said in unison, turning to glare at each other afterwards.

"Try not to kill each other!" Julian said perkily, and then turned and ran back toward his mother.

"I still can't believe you said that," Logan said to Derek, not looking at the brunette.

"I was just making an observation, I'm sorry," Derek said defensively.

Logan didn't say anything for a moment, during which time he thought a great deal. Then he said, "I'm really feminine?"

"Only sometimes," Derek said carefully.

"I'll still write you this summer," Logan said. "But maybe only for your birthday."

"I'm okay with that." Derek bumped his shoulder into Logan's. "And um, for the record… You know there's nothing wrong with being…feminine? A bit?"

"Of course," Logan said quickly.

.

_Dear Julian,_

_I actually am writing you this letter on the last night of term. You think I'm studying for exams – HA! I already studied for 5 hours today, and my strategy is, study until you can't fill your brain anymore, and then you're done. I think I'm done. Anyway, I'm good at exams and tests and stuff. I'll do fine._

_Anyway, I wanted to be the first to write to you instead of waiting for you to write to me because I was scared you'd go the first few days of holiday thinking that I wasn't going to write to you, but here I am, writing to you. With you right across the common room. Sometimes I look up at you and think about how I'm going to miss you over the summer._

_-Logan_

.

_Dear Logan,_

_You actually wrote me! And you wrote me before we even left the castle? Whoa. Life just got so much cooler, you decided to grace me with your awesome presence in paper-form. SARCASM. But not totally._

_So my holiday looks like it's going to be BORING. Absolutely _nothing_ to do. My mum is always at work at the Ministry and she leaves me home all day with zero stuff to do. Guess I'll be playing chess against myself a lot this summer. The good news is I'll win every time, though that won't be much different from playing with you._

_-Julian_

.

_Dear Derek,_

_You better be practicing Quidditch _a lot _because we lost the House Cup again this year to the stupid RAVENCLAWS. So you better be getting really good._

_-Logan_

.

_Dear Logan,_

_You actually wrote to me and it isn't my birthday! I feel so honored!_

_And yeah, I'm practicing a lot, don't worry. It's not like I have anything better to do at this stupid house. (Although there is this really pretty girl who rides her bike around a lot… She's a Muggle. UGH. But she's _very_ cute and Muggles can be hilarious sometimes.)_

_-Derek_

.

Logan laughed as he read Derek's letter, and then he pulled out some parchment and a quill from the drawer in his desk.

"Logan?" There was a knock on the door and Logan looked up, surprised. It was none other than Cal Johnson.

"Hi," Logan said shyly, dropping the quill. An ink splatter appeared on the paper and Logan sighed. More parchment wasted.

"Do you want to play?" Cal looked hopeful.

"Sure." Logan stood up and smiled. "Are you sure _you_ want to play with _me_?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Cal grinned and turned, running down the stairs. "Let's make a tree house!" he shouted.

Logan looked back at his parchment and promised himself that he'd finish the letter after he played with Cal.

.

Derek tossed the ball through the hoop. It was weird and it had taken him about ten shots to actually get one in. He wasn't using the right ball, for one thing (he thought he was supposed to use something called a 'basketball' but he wasn't entirely certain what that was), but the Quaffle he was using did actually fit through the basket. It didn't really bounce though…so that was making it kind of hard to get into the sport.

But he wanted to get the attention of that Muggle girl, and he couldn't do that in his backyard practicing Quidditch.

"Hello?" Someone tapped his shoulder and Derek whirled about. It was the girl.

"Oh, hey." He smiled at her. She had straight brown hair and it was kind of messed up because of her helmet but he didn't care. She was standing next to her ever-present bicycle.

"What is that?" she asked, pointing to the Quaffle.

"Oh. Um, it's…" He turned it over in his hand. "It's this ball my dad made for me."

"It got dented," she pointed out, reached out for it.

Derek handed it to her. "Do you want to play basketball with me?"

She examined the ball. "Weird." She gave it back to him. "Let me go get _my_ basketball, and we can play with it. By the way, I'm Hilary."

"Derek." Derek grinned and once she'd turned away, he raised his fist in the air in a VICTORY! gesture.

.

Julian watched as the white knight and the black knight fought on the chess board. His eyes were glazed over, he was hardly paying attention. How many more days until he could go back to Hogwarts…?

Sighing, he pulled the two knights away from each other and packaged up the chess set carefully, putting it back on its place on his bedroom shelf. He walked aimlessly around the house for a few minutes, looking for something to do, but he found nothing. He considered reading 'Harry Potter: The Story of the Boy Who Lived' for the fifth time, but he already had it memorized and his mom might take it away if he read it _too_ often, because she thought he should branch out a little more.

Right when he thought that he might actually die of boredom, an owl flew through the open kitchen door and landed on his head.

He smiled wide. A letter from Derek or Logan. He picked up the owl – it was Logan's. He untied the letter attached to its foot and sat down at the kitchen table, Logan's owl next to him. Julian would feed him some dead mice or something after he read the letter.

A smile crept across Julian's face as he read Logan's letter – about how he and his friend were building a tree house, about how his father was basically ignoring him (which was a good thing), about how he missed being able to do magic, and then at the end it said:

'I'm really looking forward to seeing you on September first, and maybe Diagon Alley before that. I'm going the last week of August, probably on the 27th. Maybe I'll see you there. I've really missed you a lot over the holidays.'

Julian would ask his mum when she got home if they could go to Diagon Alley sometime during the last week of August, preferably the 27th.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello lovely! Thank you for reading my story.**

**CP Coulter and JK Rowling own everything.**

**I own my tumblr, which is flightofdeathfrench.**

**This will begin at the end of the summer right before Second Year. :)**

**Chapter 6**

"Come on." Logan's fingertips brushed against Cal's as he stepped out of the car, and he glanced at the boy, and Logan flashed him a smile that went unreturned. "Julian said he might meet us somewhere here." Us. He said 'us' just because he didn't want to be rude, didn't want to be the reason Cal left, though Logan knew very well that Cal would leave, would run off the minute they got to Diagon Alley, because that was what he'd said he'd do.

He looked up at the Leaky Cauldron and sighed. So finally he was going back to the magical world, back to Julian, and Derek, and his friends…

Cal was nice, but Cal was confusing and he didn't like Logan anymore.

_Logan I want to be your good friend._

_Logan do you want to be my good friend?_

_Logan it's okay to do this._

_Logan don't be scared._

_Logan we're fine, we're just experimenting._

_Logan get away from me._

_Logan we should just be friends._

_Logan I don't like this._

_Logan I decided I don't want to do that anymore._

_Logan when we get to Hogwarts don't talk to me please._

Here they were at Diagon Alley and Cal was about to ditch Logan like he'd promised.

Logan had mixed feelings about this (sad because he liked Cal and happy because Cal was being so cold to him), but he was about to see Julian and so it was maybe alright.

.

"Logan!" Julian called, waving and smiling. Logan saw him and rushed over to where Julian was standing with his mum. Mr. Wright trailed Logan, looking around for anyone interesting to talk to, an excuse to ditch Logan just like Cal had.

"Hey, Jules!" Logan exclaimed, forgetting for a moment that this was Julian and throwing his arms around the brunet for a big hug.

Julian took a moment to hug back, he was shocked and surprised, not unpleasantly, but then he hugged back and just figured maybe Logan was one of those touchy-feely kinds of people.

Mr. Wright cleared his throat way louder than was necessary and Julian's mum kind of shuffled. "We'd better get going, Logan," Mr. Wright said loudly, grabbing Logan's shirt and pulling Logan away from Julian.

Logan was blushing, having realized exactly what he was doing. "Can I go shopping with Julian?" he asked, a little worried now, what if Julian didn't want to walk around with him anymore, after the hug…?

That had made Cal mad.

"Can he please?" Julian begged, and Logan let out a long breath. Relief flooded through his body; so Julian wasn't angry at him. He wasn't mad that Logan had hugged him.

Mr. Wright sighed, and looked to Ms. Larson. "Is that alright with you?"

"Of course." Dolce smiled brightly and said, "We'll meet you in the Leaky Cauldron around 2."

Logan beamed at Julian, who beamed back.

"Happy late birthday!" Julian exclaimed suddenly, as Mr. Wright walked away. "You're finally twelve like me!" He grinned lopsidedly at Logan and Logan grinned back.

"Thanks. And thanks for the present."

"You're welcome. It wasn't as good as yours but I thought you could use it…" Julian dug his toe into the crack between two light gray cobblestones. It had actually been more of a joke than anything real, because Julian couldn't think of what Logan might want. He'd gotten him _Wizard's Chess: Strategies and Tips On Improving Your Game._

"Well!" Ms. Larson clapped her hands brightly. "Do you have your money, Logan?"

"Yeah." Logan held up a little string bag that jingled with coins.

"Perfect. I have the second year list here…" She handed it to Julian, who moved so he and Logan could both see it.

"I have a few errands to run," Ms. Larson said, glancing around, as if distracted. "So would you two be alright alone? Just stick together, I'm sure you won't get lost, and remember to be at the Leaky Cauldron at 2."

Without even waiting for a response, she was gone, whisked away by the bustling crowd of witches and wizards and Julian and Logan's schoolmates.

The blond and brunet looked at each other, a little unsure of what to do. They'd spent nine months at Hogwarts without their parents, yes, but now…they were in the busy world and their parents were nowhere in sight. This was at once frightening and exciting.

Logan was the first to get over the fright and he squealed. "Let's go buy _everything_ and then we can get food!"

Julian smiled. "Okay. We have to get all these books…how are we going to _carry _them?"

"We can do it! We're strong! We're guys! We're manly!" (He was desperate.) Logan made a muscle and Julian laughed.

"Okay first we have to get our books…" Julian sighed and looked down at the list. "Let's go."

.

"I won't see you for awhile, not until next summer…" Derek stared into Hilary's eyes and raised his eyebrows, daring her to ask him where he was going.

"What are you going?" she asked.

"Far away," Derek said, wishing he could tell her where and why and what and how. "I'll be back next summer, though, I promise."

"You aren't going to school?" she asked, eyes wide and hurt.

Derek shook his head. "I am going to school…" He propped himself up on his elbow in the soft grass in her backyard. "I'm going away to boarding school. Like last year."

She bit her lip. "Then I won't have any friends at my school," she said sadly, chin quivering. "I thought you would be my friend."

"We are friends!" Derek insisted.

"But Derek…I don't have any friends there. At school. I just moved here in June, I never even went to that school, and I don't know anyone but you, and I _thought_ you and I could go to school together and you could help me make friends because I don't know anyone…" She sniffed, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hey…" Derek put an arm on her shoulder, face apologetic and sad. "I wish I could come to your school but my parents send me away."

"Will you call me? Write to me?" Her eyes filled with hope now, at this thought that maybe they could still talk, but Derek knew that neither calling nor writing letters was an option. Hogwarts didn't have phones and the postal service didn't visit the castle.

"I can't," he said, worried that she might see the tears that were threatening to come to his own eyes.

"You…can't?" she looked confused.

"No, I'm sorry, phones aren't allowed at the school I go to and it's so in the middle of nowhere that we can't write letters." He hoped she'd believe this.

She did.

"I'll miss you," she said sadly.

He looked at her – at Hilary, at his first love, and for the first time in his life he wished he could be a muggle.

.

"Do you see Derek?" Logan asked apprehensively, eyes scanning the crowd.

"Nah." Julian was looking too, but Derek was nowhere to be found. The train whistle blew, and Julian and Logan were forced to say goodbye to their mother and father and then get on the Hogwarts Express. Just as the platform was clearing out because all the students were getting onto the train, and they were beginning to really worry, Derek showed up, bursting through the barrier and running pell-mell toward the train. He climbed on, disappearing from view, and a second later showed up at the compartment where Julian and Logan were sitting waiting for him.

"Where were you?" Logan demanded, eyebrows meeting over his nose, glaring with bright green eyes.

"Hilary wanted to come _with me_ to King's Cross and I-" he was panting "-couldn't say no to her, to _her_, so I had to…" He looked out at the platform as it slid from view. "I had to sneak away from her in the station, say I was going to the toilet… My parents are probably telling her right now that my train must have come and I had to leave without saying good-bye…" He sniffed and didn't say anything more.

Julian and Logan glanced at each other, concerned, but they let it drop for the time being, and engaged Derek in conversation about what their plans for the year were and how Derek would _of course _still be great at Quidditch.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello!**

**So I'm sorry this chapter took so long to post – I was on vacation for a little over a week with zero internet access. So I wrote this while on vacation and now I have it to give to you!**

**As always, CP Coulter and JK Rowling own everything and I own next to nothing. :)**

**Chapter 7**

Logan slammed down his book, green rage in his eyes. "This," he said to Julian through clenched teeth, "is the most boring thing I've ever read."

Julian glanced up slowly. "It's about mountain trolls, Lo," he drawled, "what do you expect?"

They both looked up as Derek sank into a seat next to them. "I'm bloody tired," he said without preamble. He motioned to his dirt-speckled robes and sighed. "And now I have to clean these. Great." He rolled his eyes and handed his wand to Logan. "And this is chipped, I fell on it."

Logan took it and inspected it closely. "Here?" he pointed to a little place in the wood where part of it had come off.

Derek nodded and Logan pulled his own wand from his pocket. "Reparo," he muttered under his breath and flicked his wand and Julian looked up from his book as the dent smoothed out.

"Thanks." Derek took it back and pointed it at Logan. "You really shouldn't have fixed it."

Now it was Logan's turn to roll his eyes. "It was _this morning_, get over it!"

Derek lowered the wand slightly. "But Logan, you _told _Amelia that I kissed Clara!"

"I was just telling the truth!" Logan twirled his own wand in his hands.

"Sorry to interrupt," Julian said loudly, "but I have a question about this."

Logan leaned in to peer over the book. "What?"

"It says that mountain trolls like to-"

"I don't know, I haven't gotten there." Logan turned back to Derek. "I maybe shouldn't have told Clara but I think that you should have."

"Couldn't you guess?" Julian insisted. "You're smart, you pay attention in class."

"I don't_ know_, Julian." Logan looked steadily at Derek, not looking at Julian.

"Hey, chill, I didn't know you were so insecure in your intelligence." Julian looked at Logan levelly and Logan lasted two seconds before he grabbed Julian's book and threw it across the common room, almost hitting a first year, who glared at Logan.

Logan glared back, baring his teeth.

"Go get it," Julian said coldly. "Go get it for me."

"No, it's your book." Logan stood up and walked across the room to another empty chair, which he sat in and stewed.

Julian sat in his own chair for a few minutes, complaining loudly to Derek about Logan and his 'mood swings' before standing up and going over to retrieve his book, apologize coolly to the first year, and then sit down on the floor next to Logan's new spot.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did to you," he said angrily. "I don't know why you threw my book across the room though."

"When I'm mad at you," Logan said calmly but with a tone that chilled Julian through and through, "please don't talk to me. _You _wait for _me_ to talk to _you_. Got it?" He stood. "Good." He disappeared through the doorway to the dormitories.

Julian caught Derek's eye and shrugged. Derek shrugged back.

.

Logan punched a pillow, alone, alone at last. Finally. But he didn't _want_ to be alone… It scared him, what he _wanted_ to be. To do. When he leaned closer to Julian, to see Julian's book, he wanted to…

To kiss him.

Like he kissed Cal.

But it would be nicer with Julian, Logan just knew it, he could tell, and that scared him. So much so that he had to get away, he had to leave, be far away from Julian. Because Logan didn't _want_ to want Julian. He wanted to be like Derek, with Clara and Amelia. But he just wasn't.

And if he had to be like _that_ then why did it have to be with Julian? His best friend? Who was probably definitely _not_ like _that_.

He punched the pillow again, glared at it, hissed. As if the pillow embodied, for right now, who he was – _what_ he was – himself.

Logan sighed, his anger diminishing quickly, and sat down heavily on the bed. He made a face at the wall – what if the wall told someone? What if the pillow did?

Suddenly he was paranoid. What if someone found out? What if Cal told someone…?

.

"Where is the Hufflepuff common room?" Logan demanded.

Derek looked up at Logan guiltily. "How should I know?"

"Cut the crap," Logan said, annoyed. "I know you know, you've snogged enough Hufflepuffs."

"Sometimes," Julian said lazily, twirling his quill, still looking at the book about mountain trolls, "I think Derek forgets that he's 12 years old."

Logan glared at him, at his perfect features, his perfect hair…

"It's near the kitchens." Derek blinked at him. "Just go down there, there'll be Hufflepuffs going in and out probably, you can find it."

"Thanks." And Logan was running out of the Slytherin common room, across the stone floor of the dungeons, and up toward the kitchen. He skidded to a stop when he got to the hallway behind kitchens, looking around with big green eyes. So…now what?

Should he wait? Just stand there and wait for Cal to come out?

What if Cal just went to bed? He probably wouldn't just come out of the common room…

Logan started and whirled about as he heard voices at the opposite end of the corridor. He looked frantically around for someplace to hide, but saw nowhere. So he stood his ground, in the middle of the corridor, hand in his robes, holding his wand.

And who should come walking up the corridor to greet him but Cal Johnson? Logan visibly shrunk. He hadn't seen Cal in less than a ten-foot radius for two months. Logan looked around, shy all of a sudden.

Cal walked up to him and stopped, and the other three Hufflepuffs he'd been with kept walking. They entered the common room but Logan barely even realized they were there and it didn't matter anymore how they got in or where because Cal…was out here.

"Logan, what are you doing here?" Cal asked in a hushed voice. "I told you, don't talk to me when we get to the castle, and here we are, at the castle… I mean, you're a fun guy and we had a lot of fun together when we were kids and I really like you but when you tried to make it more than just…running around the neighborhood together…that wasn't cool. I didn't like it. I'm sorry."

Logan's heart was in the bottom of his stomach and he just looked at Cal, not nearly as good-looking as Julian.

"Why are you here?" Cal asked softly, he wasn't mean, he wouldn't be rude, couldn't be, but he would be final and for Logan that sometimes felt like a punch to the gut.

"I…" Logan swallowed, his lips were dry, why was he nervous like this? "Look." He took a step forward and Cal took a step back. "I'm not going to kiss you, alright? Calm _down_," Logan snapped. Cal's eyes widened but he nodded. "I just need to know – have you told anyone?"

Cal looked surprised. "About…" He motioned between them with his hand. "No. Of course not. Not my secret to tell."

Logan nodded, satisfied, but there was one other thing.

He surged forward, pinned Cal against the wall, and took his wand from his robes. He calmly held it to Cal's neck and hissed, "If you ever so much as whisper a word about anything that happened last summer to _anyone_, I'll shove this wand down your throat and perform all the spells I know _on your stomach_."

Cal gulped. "I won't tell anyone, I swear."

"Good." Logan let him go, Cal crumpled against the floor, and Logan walked off, satisfied.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay, but school started last Monday and updates will probably be a bit slower now because of that. But they'll come, I promise.**

**CP Coulter and JK Rowling own everything. :)**

**Also, the different Years are going to be mostly from the different boys' perspectives.**

**First Year = Julian**

**Second Year = Logan**

**Third Year = Derek**

**Fourth Year = Julian**

**Fifth Year = Logan**

**Sixth Year = Derek**

**Seventh Year = Julian**

**This is only loose, because there will be snippets of the other boys' POVs throughout each of the years as necessary, but these years will focus mainly on the boys listed above. **

**Enjoy, and leave a review to let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 8**

Logan was not staring at Julian. His eyes were just stuck and Julian happened to be in the way.

No, that was a terrible excuse.

Logan was staring at Julian. Julian's face was really nice, and he was laughing hard at something Derek was saying. Logan wished desperately that he could hear what it was that Derek was saying, because Logan suddenly _had_ to know what was making Julian so happy. Logan liked when Julian was happy.

But Logan couldn't hear what Derek was saying. Logan was supposedly still angry at Julian and he hadn't been able to find a time to apologize or whatever yet – and he didn't _want_ to apologize. Logan was really bad at apologizing. He wouldn't ever apologize, ever, to anyone, _ever_, and it would work out fine… At least, that was how things would go ideally. But Julian always made Logan apologize or else he wouldn't forgive him.

There was a Quidditch game tomorrow, that's when he would do it, Logan decided. He'd just have to suck it up and apologize.

But for now, he was stuck with just looking at Julian. He had to wonder why. He had to wonder why he was this way, why he liked Julian and why he liked Cal. Because Logan wasn't an idiot, he didn't think this was normal, obviously he didn't. It was weird. It was like Logan was wired wrong. Like everyone else's brains had something that Logan's brain didn't have.

And he was kind of okay with it. He wasn't going to cry himself to sleep or anything.

But…

The thought that haunted him, whenever he saw Julian laughing or smiling or even scowling like he did in the morning, was that Julian was not wired the same way as Logan was. Logan was almost certain of it.

So they were two puzzle pieces only Logan was manufactured wrong and the two pieces could never fit together, no matter how much Logan tried to fix himself.

.

Logan squinted at the Ravenclaws in the stands opposite the Slytherin area. It was sunny, an unusual phenomenon, and if Logan was thinking about this philosophically, it was maybe a sign.

But he wasn't thinking about it philosophically, he was just dreading it.

Logan hated apologies.

Julian tugged on Logan's scarf and caught Logan's attention. "Look," Julian said, the first word he'd spoken to Logan all day, even though they'd eaten breakfast and walked down to the Pitch together.

Logan looked to where Julian was pointing and saw Derek walking onto the pitch with the rest of the Slytherins.

"Um, Julian," Logan said, it's now or never, just spit it out you idiot, "I'm sorry."

Julian looked at him, eyebrows up, mouth in an o shape. He moved his lips a bit and wetted them with his tongue but said nothing. "Okay," was what he finally settled on, and then turned to watch as the two captains shook hands tensely.

"For being rude to you!" Logan spat out, because he knew that Julian wouldn't let it slide if he didn't give a _proper_ apology.

"Okay," Julian said, quicker this time, with a little glance to the side at Logan.

And that was when Logan was going to tell Julian, he was going to tell him everything he'd been feeling, not necessarily offering specifics but just in general, say that he liked the wrong gender, but Julian didn't let him. And Logan may not have said it anyway.

"What do you think of her?" Julian asked, nodding his head in the direction of a girl in fourth year two stands below them. She was smiling and clapping and shouting insults at the Ravenclaws. Her auburn hair was wavy and shone in the sunlight, and she had very bright blue eyes that Logan would've bet were fake.

"Her eyes look fake, she probably made them that blue by magic," he said, slightly disgusted.

"She's pretty," Julian said defensively.

Logan looked at him, shocked, but unsure as to why he was so shocked.

"Yeah," Logan said softly, looking at her and trying to figure out whether or not he would want to kiss her.

He thought not.

"I like her…" Julian's attention was grabbed by her glancing up at him and shooting him a mischievous grin. He turned to Logan with wide eyes and said very quietly, "Did you see that? What does she want me to do? Does she like me?"

"Maybe," Logan said, feigning disinterest.

"SHOULD I TALK TO HER?" Julian was practically on his knees, tugging at Logan's robes and begging him to tell him the secret of girls.

"I'm hardly the person to talk to about that," Logan scoffed. "I've never had a girlfriend."

Julian bit his lip. "Me neither."

"So talk to her," Logan said in an offhand tone. "What do you have to lose?"

Julian nodded and gulped. "Right now?"

"No, next Tuesday." Logan paused and Julian's eyes widened even more. "_Yes_, right now, you twat. Go!"

.

"Hi, I'm Julian." Julian slid into the stands next to the girl and offered his hand.

She smiled a little knowing smile and said, "I'm Clarissa."

Julian smiled a real smile and said, "Can I watch the rest of the match with you?"

"Sure."

.

"I think I'm in love."

Julian said this completely seriously.

Logan and Derek shared a look. "Um, Julian," Derek said, "you spent what, an hour with her?"

"Love at first sight." Julian gave him a look. "Duh."

"I cannot believe this," Logan said, stirring his pumpkin pie around on his plate until it was all just one big glop. "I can't believe this," he repeated.

"It's _love_, we talked the whole time, she's so nice!"

"She's a Slytherin," Logan said, looking up at him with an arched eyebrow.

"You're a Slytherin," Julian countered.

"Exactly."

Julian just narrowed his eyes and then turned to Derek. "She told me she'd 'see me around!' THAT MEANS SHE LIKES ME, RIGHT?"

Derek gave him a patronizing look. "Yeah, sure."

"I never thought I'd find the love of my life this early!" Julian exclaimed happily.

Logan stood up, banging his knees against the edge of the table. "I have to go do something."

Derek and Julian looked at him quizzically, but Logan just kept walking until he was out of the Great Hall.

He felt stupid. For feeling bad. Because he should just be happy for Julian, right? Julian was happy even if the girl was totally going to break his heart in the near future.

But Logan wasn't happy for Julian.

And that was selfish.

Logan glanced at a tapestry on the wall as he made his way to the dungeons. Neville Longbottom, sword in hand, a snake in front of him. His face was fierce and determined.

Logan wondered if he'd ever risk his life for someone else.

.

"I can't believe her."

Julian was slumped on the couch a week later and Logan and Derek were trying their best to console him.

"I have Quidditch practice," Derek whispered to Logan over Julian's head. Julian was looking at the fire, glowing green in the fireplace.

"Don't leave me!" Logan whispered back, pleadingly.

"I'm sorry." Derek stood up and mussed up Julian's hair. "I know it hurts, Jules. I know. Just don't cry?"

"I'm not going to _cry_!" Julian looked at him fiercely and Derek backed up, hands in a defensive position.

"I know! I'm just…I'm going to go."

Logan looked at Julian and Julian looked at the fire.

"I have nothing to say," Logan said carefully, wringing his hands together in his lap. "So let's play wizard's chess."

"I don't want to."

"You're going to anyway."

And Logan and Julian played wizard's chess and even though Julian's heart hurt and his head hurt and he felt sad, Logan made him laugh and forget for a little while why he felt sad.

And that was all Logan could do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone! It's officially been 7 months since I updated this fic, and for that I apologize sincerely. I have no real excuse, other than with school and loss of muse, I lost interest. Lately, however, my mom has been bugging me about how I should really continue it, and so today I sat down and re-read what I had so far and realized that I really **_**do**_** want to continue it.**

**So here I am. This is chapter 9. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll continue to try to update at least once a week, if I can. I'm not sure if my original plan for this story/how it will be told is going to be the same – i.e. I don't think I'll really alternate between POVs for it, I'll probably stick with whoever's inner trauma is greatest at the time. **

**If you're still around, fantastic, welcome, and I hope you enjoy this chapter that's been so long in the coming! **

**I can be found on tumblr at flightofdeathfrench, and I hope you don't hate me for taking **_**so long **_**to update.**

**These characters still aren't mine, they're CP Coulter's, and the world in which the characters roam is JK Rowling's.**

**Enjoy, and review if you think I still deserve it! :)**

**Chapter 9**

Logan was buried in books, but he wasn't finding anything. It had been a few hours, all the lanterns had been lit in the library, and still he sat. He was starting to fall asleep but he needed to find the spell he needed before he went home on the Hogwarts Express the next day.

Everyone was done exams, so no one was in the library. It was all his. That was best, Logan liked being alone nowadays. His wand lay on the desk next to his pile of books, all of which had been leafed through and discarded when nothing of use was found. He turned a page, read about yet another form of love potion that made you fall _in love_ with someone, but not _out of love_ with an entire gender.

He slammed the book closed, a cloud of dust rising up into his face. Coughing, he shoved it away, angry. He picked up his wand and waved it, sending all the books back to their shelves. Julian had taught him how to do this.

Thinking of Julian made Logan's heart leap and fall in a way that was quite painful, so he just watched the books sailing back to their places and then pocketed his wand, turned, and left the library.

The stone corridors were so familiar and Logan found himself taking the long way back to Slytherin common room. He didn't want to go home for the summer. His father was at home. Cal was at home. It was confusing and lonely and so…Julian-less.

Logan stopped just outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room. He rested his forehead against the wall, his palms pressed against the stone.

It was alright, he didn't need to like girls anyway. They were unappealing and gross and quite frankly, Logan didn't _want_ to like them. He lacked the desire.

But he did want to be normal. He wanted to fit in. He didn't want to want things that he couldn't have. If he liked someone he wanted to be able to tell them. He didn't want to have to tell his friends that he liked boys. He didn't want to have to tell his father…

This thought, the thought of his father and that, inevitably, he would have to tell him over the summer, sent a chill down Logan's spine. He pushed off the wall and murmured the password, 'Gryffindors suck.' The Gryffindors had won the House Cup that year, much to Derek's embarrassment, since he was convinced that it was somehow his fault.

Speaking of the devil…Derek was sitting in a chair in front of the green-glowing fire. He was using his wand to casually make a quill fly up and down in front of him.

"Hey," Logan said, sitting in the chair next to Derek.

"Hey," Derek replied. "Find the spell?"

"No," Logan grumbled.

"Did you need it?" Derek asked, letting the quill fall to the floor, then raising it up once more.

"No," Logan said, leaning his head back to rest against the top of the chair.

"Are you alright?" Derek turned to look at him and the quill floated gently to the floor, ignored.

"I'm tired," Logan snapped. "Where's Julian?"

"He went to bed. He was waiting for you to get back but he started falling asleep so I made him go to bed."

"Hm." Logan ground his teeth together, for lack of anything better to do.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Derek asked. "What was the spell you wanted?"

Logan looked around. The common room was nearly empty; there were a few sixth years performing spells on an unfortunate toad they'd stolen from a Hufflepuff, but they were in the far corner and well out of earshot.

"If I told you something, would you promise not to tell anyone, even Julian?" Logan asked.

Derek's eyebrows knit but he nodded.

"I think…I know…" Logan started, but then he stopped. "Nevermind," he said, standing up. "I have to go, I'm tired too."

"Wait!" Derek exclaimed, jumping up, grabbing Logan's arm as the taller boy turned. "What is it? Tell me, what were you going to say?"

"Nothing!" Logan said, annoyed, and he pulled his arm away angrily. "It was nothing, now _forget it_."

"I can't just forget it!" Derek said, following Logan as he walked brusquely toward their dormitory.

"You can if I make you," Logan said, spinning around, pulling his wand from his robes, and pointing it at Derek.

Derek just rolled his eyes. "You don't _know_ that spell," he said, and he saw the tip of the wand quiver, as if Logan's hand was shaking but he was trying very hard to keep it still.

"Of course I do," Logan said, and there was a silence in which normal practices would demand that he would then _say _'Obliviate!' and Derek would forget everything.

But he didn't.

"I wouldn't tell anyone," Derek said quietly, ignoring the wand pointed at him and looking into Logan's Christmas tree eyes.

Logan shook his head. "I'm not ready to tell you," he said quietly, and there was vulnerability in his voice that Derek had never heard there before. He'd heard everything: anger, happiness, stress, just…everything. Everything but vulnerability.

Logan always had a wall up around himself, a hard outer shell that couldn't be easily broken into. Derek knew this and he wondered if whatever it was that Logan wanted to find, the spell that probably didn't exist, that he'd said he didn't need yet had spent hours looking for, would help Logan. If it would help him with whatever it was that made him put up that wall.

"Okay," he whispered, nodding. "Okay. You can go to bed now, and I'll forget this ever happened."

Logan nodded and just before he turned, Derek thought he saw the blond's lip quiver, just like the wand had.

* * *

><p>"You'll write me?" Julian asked as the train pulled up at King's Cross.<p>

Logan nodded. "Of course I will. It's probably all I'll do, I have nothing to do at home anymore."

"Don't you have your friend?" Derek asked from across the compartment.

Logan shook his head but offered no explanation whatsoever.

Derek and Julian looked at each other, and Julian hesitantly reached out his hand to touch Logan's knee in a comforting gesture from his seat next to the now-miserable blond.

Logan's leg stiffened but he didn't pull away like Julian had sort of expected him to.

"What about your girlfriend? At home?" Julian asked Derek, who shrugged like he barely remembered. "Hilary," Julian added.

"Right, Hilary. Yeah, I don't know," Derek mumbled, twirling his wand with his fingers.

"What, you just forgot about her?" Logan asked, his voice cutting through the air between him and his friend.

Derek looked down at the floor. "No," he said, in a way that made it clear that he had.

"That's awful," Logan said, anger building, eyes flashing, and Julian pulled his hand away for fear it get in the line of fire between his two best friends. "You were _so _in 'love' with her and now you've forgotten about her? How can you do that? How can you not love someone so completely, so fully with your whole heart that it consumes you? You may be twelve years old but that doesn't mean that we can't love! And when we do – when you do – how could you _ever _just forget the person that you loved? How could you possibly do that? How?" He stopped and a thick silence fell across the compartment. It was a little awkward and full of the possibility of either Julian or Derek asking Logan what he was talking about and how he knew what love was supposed to be like. But neither of them did because they were afraid.

Logan had never mentioned loving anyone, but now it seemed like he did. The way he talked. The indignance in his voice. The way, even now, his cheeks had turned a light shade of red and he refused to look at either of them.

Derek wondered if this was what Logan had been going to tell him the night before… But what spell would he need? A spell to make the girl he loved fall in love with him back? Maybe. But those were easy to find…

"I don't know," Derek said after awhile. "I guess she isn't the one."

Logan didn't respond. He drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees, and he stayed there until the train had stopped and everyone had gotten off, including Julian and Derek. (After a moment of hesitation, they'd stood and gathered their things and paused in the doorway. Julian had said, 'I'll write to you, Lo,' and Derek had said, 'Yeah, me too.' Logan hadn't responded, so they'd both left the compartment.) Logan sat there while the train emptied, thinking about how he'd have to face his dad, and maybe sometime during the lonely days that were sure to follow, he'd have to tell him that he loved boys. A boy. A brunet boy who had just stepped off the train and who could be seen out the window greeting his mother and walking off. After Logan stopped looking, Julian turned to look back at the train, at the window through which Logan could be seen, standing finally and gathering his own things. Julian turned and bit his lip, concerned about his best friend. Logan sighed heavily and walked through the corridor and off the train and onto the platform.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello again! Thank you all for your continued support and for not hating me for the long, long hiatus! I love each and every one of you, even the ones who secretly harbor a grudge against me for taking so long. Here's the next chapter for you!**

**Find me on tumblr at flightofdeathfrench. **

**None of the characters are mine (except Cal) – they're CP Coulter's. None of the settings are mine – they're JK Rowling's.**

**Chapter 10**

_Dear Julian,_

_Who do you think Logan is in love with? I can't believe he wouldn't tell us. And that he would yell at me like that! I don't love Hilary. Maybe I did but she's changed; I met her on the street and she sort of likes me still but I was clear that I do not feel the same about her. Logan would slice my neck open for some reason if he heard that. It's ridiculous. Do you have any ideas who he might love?_

_From,_

_Derek_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_I have no idea. Do you reckon I should write him, or give him time to cool off? Everything is boring here. I'm bored. There is nothing to do. I can't stand a whole summer of this. _

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Julian,<em>

_I wish we could get together. You, me, and Logan. Over the holiday. Would your mum be alright with that? I doubt Logan's dad would mind._

_From,_

_Derek_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_We haven't even talked to Logan yet. Let's not make plans so hastily._

_I'll send him an owl and let you know if he responds._

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Logan,<em>

_Hello stranger. If you are dead and/or hate me, do not respond to this. If you are not, please respond. I'm worried about you!_

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p>Julian sat by the window in his bedroom, watching the sky. It had been a week since he'd sent that owl to Logan. He was dying to get a response. He hadn't lost hope yet, because his owl still hadn't returned. He tapped his fingers against the desktop, his chin resting in his other hand. Boredom made his brain feel slow and inactive, thinking like moving through syrup. His head slowly slipped closer and closer to the desk until finally he let his hand drop and his cheek landed on the wood of the desk. He lay there, one eye still trained on the sky outside, the other blocked by the darkness the wooden desk created. After a few minutes, he drifted into sleep, and wasn't awakened until he felt something land on his head.<p>

He jumped up, and the something screeched and flew off toward its perch in the corner of the room.

His owl! He ran over to it, delighted to see that it was clutching a piece of parchment. He untied it and quickly unrolled it.

_Dear Julian,_

_This is a response. I'm not dead and I don't hate you. Sorry I haven't written. A lot on my mind and I wanted to be left alone for awhile to think about it. Seeing as you will not leave me alone, however, I guess you can write to me. If you want._

_From,_

_Logan_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Logan,<em>

_I'm sorry for bothering you…_

_But when has that ever deterred me before?_

_Never. You're right. So I'll continue to write to you._

_How are things with your dad?_

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Derek,<em>

_HE RESPONDED! HE SENT A LETTER BACK AND SAID HE'S JUST BEEN THINKING A LOT LATELY AND WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE BUT THEN HE SAID THAT SINCE I WOULDN'T LEAVE HIM ALONE HE WOULD LET ME WRITE TO HIM!_

_From,_

_Julian_

* * *

><p>Derek sighed in relief upon reading Julian's letter. He'd been worried about Logan, who had been so upset before leaving the castle. Derek wondered what was <em>really<em> going on. He didn't know. Logan seemed to be in love with someone, but why would it make him so upset, and why would he need a spell…?

He did have one idea but it was crazy and definitely not true.

* * *

><p>Sometime in early August, Logan lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He could hear sounds on the street, boys and girls playing. He used to be part of that. He and Cal used to play all the time. They'd run around in their backyards, building things, trying to learn magic, they'd race up and down the street, they'd play with the toy broom Cal's dad had gotten for him…<p>

Now Cal hadn't been to Logan's house once and Logan knew that he wouldn't be welcome at Cal's. He didn't think he'd mind this as much as he did.

His own house was too quiet. His dad was gone all day and part of the night, off at the Ministry or somewhere. Once, Julian had told Logan that he'd read in the Biography of Harry Potter that you could enter the Ministry through a toilet but Logan had never been to the Ministry so he didn't know.

An owl pecked at the closed window, and Logan jumped up. He threw open the window and grinned as he let the owl in. It was Julian's! He didn't even notice the kids on the street, who were playing some weird game (they all scattered whenever a car drove by, which was pretty funny for Logan to watch sometimes), looking up at him, in awe of the fact that an owl had come straight to his window demanding entrance.

Logan unfurled Julian's letter. It was a response to his last letter, which had been sent only a few days ago. Julian was quick with replies, and they'd been writing back and forth constantly all summer. Logan and Derek had sent a few letters but the ground was still pretty rocky with them, what with Logan being embarrassed about his outburst on the train, and Derek being paranoid that Logan hated him.

_Dear Logan,_

_I'm really sorry about that. I wish he paid more attention to you. At least he doesn't hurt you. You know who you're like? You're like Harry Potter. Maybe you can grow up and defeat an evil dark wizard or something like he did! And Derek and I can help you! He can be Hermione. I want to be Ron. But smarter and better-looking._

_I'm still bored here. Next summer we have to spend together._

_From,_

_Julian_

Logan felt a smile slip onto his lips, and it grew and grew. Julian. Always talking about Harry Potter. Always making Logan feel better.

* * *

><p>"I have something to tell you," Logan told his father on the night before term started again. His dad had gone to Diagon Alley without Logan one day and returned with all of his school things, not even saying a word as he dropped them off in Logan's room. Logan had been surprised and disappointed, because he'd been hoping to see his friends in Diagon Alley.<p>

"Alright," Mr. Wright said, shoving a piece of food into his mouth and chewing. He spoke around it as he said, "What is it?"

Logan felt his heart skip a few beats and then get back on track beating faster than it should. He blinked and opened his mouth, ready to say it, to tell his dad that he liked boys instead of girls…

"Nothing," came out instead.

His dad narrowed his eyes at him. "What, Logan? What do you have to say to me? Because you've been so quiet all summer. You've barely said three words the whole time!"

"Like you've given me the _chance_!" Logan exclaimed angrily. "You never talk to _me_!"

"You're my son! I'm here to keep you fed and protected, you aren't a sounding board!" The usual glint of anger was evident in Logan's father's eyes.

"Well _you_ aren't a sounding board for me either!" Logan said, standing up, sending his chair toppling over behind him. "You don't listen to me or care about me! You don't _love_ me like you _should_!" His voice cracked and he turned and ran for the stairs to go up to his room.

"LOGAN! Get back here right now, young man!" His father was coming after him and Logan tensed. He went up a few stairs before turning around.

"You can't talk to me like that," his dad said sternly.

"I can, and I will," Logan said, crossing his arms but backing up another step. He knew his father wouldn't hurt him but he was still intimidated.

He saw his dad's hand reach into his pocket and take out his wand. "You'll go to your room and stay there," he said, holding up the wand threateningly. "Or I'll make you."

"I have to tell you something!" Logan protested, backing up a few more steps.

"Then tell me!" Mr. Wright roared, and Logan flinched.

"I-I-I'm-" Logan made his mouth form around the word but he could make no noise come out. He mouthed it instead.

The wand clattered to the floor. "Say that out loud and you're out of this house," his dad said lowly.

Logan's Christmas tree eyes grew big and round.

"I'm sorry!" he said desperately, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes but refusing to let them fall.

"You should be."

Logan turned and fled, running upstairs, still fighting back the tears.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the little hiatus, I was on vacation, but I'm back now! :D So here we go.**

**Everything is JK Rowling and CP Coulter's, not mine. :)**

**Chapter 11**

Julian was full of questions that Logan didn't feel like answering. From the minute they got on the Hogwarts Express, Julian wanted to know every little detail about Logan's summer. It was question after question, from how was your summer? to did you eat lots of food? And it was completely ridiculous. Logan answered the questions, Derek watched, and Julian never ran out of things to ask. It probably stemmed from the fact that Julian and Derek had been sending letters full of detail all summer, while Logan had been pretty unresponsive in his own letters.

"How was your summer?"

"Bad."

"Why?"

"Just was."

"Why?"

"Boring."

"Why was it boring?"

"Are you a broken record?"

"No."

"Well you sound like one."

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're disappointed in my existence, that's your disappointed-in-my-existence look. Isn't it, Derek?"

"It is, Julian."

"Thank you, Derek."

"Why do I feel like you guys are ganging up on me?"

"We aren't ganging up on you, Lo. You're just being standoffish."

And thus went the train ride. None of them had had a particularly enjoyable summer holiday, as was the way with summer holidays, and they decided that for the next holiday they would definitely have to see if they could get together at one of their houses. Julian and Derek were pretty sure they'd be allowed, but Logan was worried that his dad wouldn't want him to; either that or his dad would want him out of his sight for a summer. Having barely spoken to each other, only when absolutely necessary, ever since Logan had told his father he may like guys, Logan was fairly certain his father didn't quite like him anymore. And that hurt a lot. But he couldn't tell his friends.

Or…maybe he could. He'd told his father, a beyond impossible task, and it was already known that Derek and Julian didn't mind if a boy liked boys. They'd said that within the first few weeks at Hogwarts in first year, and Logan had never forgotten; in fact, he'd heard it, time and again, an echo in his mind, those words.

_"Could you two__be__more of a couple please?" Derek asked, annoyed, mouth full of half a roll._

_Julian whipped his head around to face Derek. "I'm straight," he said testily. "So no, we can't be a couple."_

_Derek held his hands up (one holding half a roll) in surrender. "Okay. Sorry. Didn't know it was such a sore subject."_

_There was an awkward silence. "It's not," Julian said after a minute. "I'm fine with whatever somebody chooses to be, you know?"_

_Both Derek and Julian became aware that Logan had been oddly silent during this whole conversation, so in unison, they turned toward Logan. "Logan…" Julian poked Logan, who was staring at what was left of Julian's bacon in his hand. "What about you?"_

_"Me?" Logan looked up. "Oh, I'm straight too." He laughed. "Sorry, I just got lost in thought."_

So he could probably tell them and they wouldn't mind… And he was itching to tell _someone_ who wouldn't mind. Cal had minded; Logan's father had minded – a lot. But maybe Julian and Derek wouldn't mind.

When the train stopped in Hogsmeade and Julian and Derek stood up, Logan didn't. He was lost in thought, trying to figure out whether to tell them or not.

"You coming, Lo?" Derek asked as he retrieved his bag with the clothes he'd worn to King's Cross in it from the rack above their heads.

"I actually have something to tell you," Logan said, standing up slowly.

"Okay, shoot," Julian said, pulling down his own bag.

"I'm gay." Logan said it before he could decide otherwise because it was stupid to spend too much time deliberating.

Julian dropped the bag on his toe, yelped in pain, but still stared at Logan. Derek froze.

Logan's heart pounded in his chest and suddenly panic flew through him.

What had he just done?

He ran out the door of the compartment, down the almost-empty corridor, and off the train. He dashed across the platform to where the carriages were parked, waiting to take them up to the castle. He got onto one of the carriages, not waiting for Julian and Derek, and sat there wondering what he'd just done. He'd said it, he'd told them he was gay. Why? Was he an idiot? Did he always have to act so rashly? Their faces, they were so surprised and they could have said 'Oh that's okay with us' but they didn't, they just stared!

He leaned his head against the window, and watched the first drops of what would become a thunderstorm streaming down the pane of glass. He was probably friendless now. Not that he'd had many friends in the first place.

The carriage arrived at the castle, Logan jumped out, and ran all the way to the dungeons, though everyone else was going into the Great Hall for a feast. He wondered if Julian and Derek were talking about him. He wondered what they were saying. He wondered if they hated him. He wondered if Julian guessed that he liked him. He wondered if they were enjoying the feast. He wondered if they'd think it was awkward to share a dormitory with him now.

He was on his bed, face buried in his pillow, dark green curtains drawn around the bed, when he heard the door open softly.

"Stop being an idiot, Lo," came Julian's voice, not harshly.

Logan didn't move.

"We don't care," Derek added.

Logan still didn't move.

"It doesn't matter to us, Logan!" Julian insisted. "You're Logan. It doesn't matter if you like guys." He paused. "And open the curtain."

Logan stayed completely still, trying to let it sink in that he may not have lost his two best friends.

"Logan!" Derek shouted, and Logan jumped, not expecting it. "OPEN THE CURTAIN!"

Logan opened it just a little, only a crack, to be defiant.

"Logan," Julian warned, and then laughed a little. "See, Lo? You're still the same person. We don't care who you like."

"Yeah, it actually leaves more girls for us," Derek reasoned, going over to Logan's bed curtain and opening it all the way. "Come on. Come to the feast."

"You don't hate me?" Logan asked, just to clarify, as he stood up.

"No," Derek said, just as Julian said, "Never." Logan felt a smile stretch across his face without him putting it there.

And together, they walked off to the feast, Logan full of relief that he hadn't lost everyone just because of who he loved.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello all! So what's insane is that there are almost 100 reviews on this story. Thank you all so, so much! I could live on reviews, I really could. Please keep them coming if you deem me worthy.**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings are mine. They are all CP Coulter's and JK Rowling's.**

**Chapter 12**

Logan tore at a piece of bread with his teeth, chewed it thoughtfully, considering the rest of his plate, then popped the whole bread into his mouth. He didn't have time to eat everything he wanted if he didn't hurry up. It wasn't that he hadn't been fed since he'd told his father; rather, he'd been afraid to impose upon him the fact that he was hungry. He felt like he was a burden to his dad; he'd always felt that, but now it hurt more.

"You act like you haven't eaten in days," Julian commented from across the table. Logan glared with bright green eyes full of flame and ice.

"Do you think it's _easy_ to tell you father that you like _boys_ instead of girls?" he demanded, having taken more offense at Julian's joking comment than was warranted.

Julian looked taken aback. "No…" he said, unsure of himself.

"What did he say?" Derek asked, mouth full of corn.

"He yelled," Logan said simply, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal, though his prior statement about how hard it was had firmly established the fact that it _was_, in fact, a big deal.

"Why?" Julian asked, a little confused. "I don't get that. Why would he yell at you? What's that gonna do?"

"I don't know, do I?" Logan asked angrily. "Stop saying obvious things."

Julian's mouth fell open a little, and he looked to Derek for support. Derek looked between his two friends, wavered for a moment, and then said, "You know, Julian, I think that Logan is having a very emotional day and you shouldn't take anything he says to heart…"

"I'm right here, you know," Logan reminded them, glaring again.

"And Logan," Derek said, turning, almost a little afraid, to Logan, "you know we're on your side. We said it's all right with us. You don't have to be defensive. We get that your dad didn't accept it, and Julian was just saying that he doesn't think that's fair. He wasn't trying to hurt you."

"I know _that_," Logan said, shoving more food into his mouth, chewing, swallowing, as quickly as he could to get back to talking. "I know. He was just being ignorant about it. Where do you live, Julian, hm? A box?"

Julian very obviously deflated and pushed his food around his plate with his fork.

"Logan," Derek said softly, "that's not a way to treat someone who was nice to you."

"What _are_ you, my _father_?" Logan asked, standing up and nearly pushing the whole bench back with the back of his knees.

"No!" Derek exclaimed, standing up too. "I'm trying to stand up for Julian, who you _always_ pick on. Why? Why do you do that?"

Logan looked from Derek to Julian, whose deep brown eyes were angled down at the table instead of up at Logan, and he seemed to be trying to solve a hard math problem.

"I don't know," Logan said quietly, and he stepped over the bench and left the Great Hall, walking very quickly, as quickly as he could.

Derek sat down again, a little embarrassed at the scene they'd caused. Many eyes were on himself and Julian, and he whispered, "Just don't look at them."

"I don't mind," Julian said dismissively. He didn't mind having tons of people looking at him. "What I _do_ mind is that I didn't do a thing wrong and he attacks me!"

"He's really sensitive about it," Derek said, "he must be. Why else would he yell at you for no reason?"

Julian shook his head. "I don't know…"

A thought, a bizarre and crazy one, occurred to them both at that moment, but neither voiced it because it was so stupid and weird. There was no way it was true. No way that Logan had feelings for Julian. It made no sense. None at all.

They both dismissed it and finished their meals, talking about Logan, Quidditch, their classes, teachers, their summers, everything.

When they got back to the Slytherin common room, they knew they had to talk to Logan. He was sitting in a chair, flipping through their new Potions book, obviously not reading it because his eyes weren't moving and he was turning the pages too quickly. He had a blank look on his face, like he was both thinking hard and trying not to think at all.

"Hey." Julian sat down next to him.

Logan glanced up at him and then back down to his book. "Hey," he said in response after a moment of silence in which Derek and Julian both held their breaths, waiting for Logan to stand up, start yelling, throw his book at Julian's head, _something_. Instead… 'Hey?' Not what they'd been expecting at all.

In a very good way.

And that was the way it was. No apology needed, because Julian knew that Logan was sorry because of the way he'd stopped fighting, and instead said, 'hey.' Julian understood that he was forgiven, in Logan's mind, for whatever he'd done. And Logan knew that he was forgiven for what _he'd_ done.

And that was that. Logan was gay, but Julian and Derek didn't mind. His two straight friends.

As Julian glanced over at Logan every now and then, he found himself noticing the Christmas tree eyes, the way his lips moved to form the words he was reading (he'd now started _actually_ reading the Potions book), the slight color in his cheeks…

Julian wondered if maybe Logan _did_ like him.

And if maybe…


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone! These lovely characters were created by the beautiful Miss CP Coulter, and this magical background that they are placed in was created by the wonderful Miss JK Rowling. :)**

**Chapter 13**

The year began to pass; Halloween flew by, then it was December and everything was still normal. Derek talked about Quidditch nonstop; Julian and Logan fought about five things before breakfast; it was comfortable. They were all relieved to fall into the rhythm of school. Classes were becoming a little harder, but the three Slytherins had no problem keeping up. It was not unusual for them to pull all-nighters together, writing essays, practicing spells, things that wouldn't have taken all night but often they would become sidetracked, either by someone suddenly remembering a story he wanted to tell, or two – sometimes all three of them, though Derek usually served as mediator between the other two – falling into an argument that would, at best, take half an hour to sort out.

Julian and Derek had not forgotten their desire to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. One morning in early December, at breakfast one Sunday, Julian had a piece of paper that he was writing on.

"What sounds better?" he asked, biting off a piece of turkey from his turkey leg before reading, "Dear Mother, I implore-"

"The other one," Logan said immediately. "Implore? _Really?_ Are you the queen, Julian? Because last time I checked no one else uses the word _implore_."

"Maybe I want to _sound_ like royalty, Logan, did you think of _that_?" Julian challenged.

Logan raised an eyebrow and brought his cup to his lips, drinking deeply of his Pumpkin juice. He shivered a little – the large Great Hall was so drafty – and then said, "Just ask her. Say 'May I stay at Hogwarts for the holidays? Thanks, love you, Julian. End.'"

Derek rolled up his own piece of parchment. "It's not hard, Julian," he said, waving it in the air to dry it.

"I'm afraid she'll say no!" Julian said, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. "I'm afraid she'll be lonely…"

Logan kicked him under the table. "Do you want to stay or don't you?" he demanded. He'd already written his letter the night before and would go up to the Owlery with his friends to send it.

"I do," Julian said, sounding torn. "I just don't want her to be alone…"

"Come on, Julian," Derek said. "You said last summer that you wanted to stay! It'll be fine. Don't worry about her. She's lived alone for two and a half years now, and when you're there what happens? Does she go out of her way to spend time with you?"

"She's just busy," Julian said defensively, as if it were his own personal parenting skills being called into question.

"Then she won't miss you," Logan said like it was decided.

"You're right," Julian agreed, nodding. "Okay. I'll stay."

"We're back to square one then," Derek said, just as owls began their descent into the Great Hall and down to students. None of the three expected any letters or parcels, so they continued eating their breakfasts.

It was only when Logan's father's owl landed on Logan's head that he looked up, slightly startled. The owl started pecking at his forehead and getting his hair all tangled. He grabbed it to get it off him, and the owl flew a distance away.

"That bloody owl hates me," Logan mumbled, waiting for it to come back, which it did, finally, pecking his forehead again as he undid the scroll from its leg. He sighed and unrolled it.

Julian reached his arm out and the owl gladly sat on it. Julian took a piece of bread from his plate and gave the owl a bit. He smiled and stroked its feathers.

"Don't spoil that owl," Logan said, setting the letter down on the table once he was through reading it. "It already is spoiled enough by my dad, he doesn't need you adding to it."

"But he's such a pretty owl," Julian cooed.

"What does the letter say?" Derek asked, reaching to pick it up.

Logan snatched it up. "Nothing."

"What?" Derek reached for it again. "Tell me! Your dad hasn't written to you once, and you haven't written to him, it must be important!"

"No one died, don't worry," Logan said sarcastically.

"I wasn't-"

"It isn't even your business anyway," Logan said, holding the paper to his chest.

"Are you going to respond?" Julian asked, looking into the owl's eyes and making faces.

"That owl is the _devil_!" Logan exclaimed, dropping the paper and shooing the owl away with both his hands. It took flight and, glancing back with an angry glint in his eyes, flew away.

"He seemed nice enough to me," Julian said, shrugging.

"He's my _dad's_," Logan told him, like it was obvious and why didn't Julian under_stand_?

Meanwhile Derek had picked up the letter and read it and was looking at it like it was made of fire. He set it down angrily after a moment.

"What does he think he's doing?" Derek asked, loudly indignant. "He's being a _horrible-_"

"It doesn't matter. I wanted to stay over break anyway…" Logan said, weakly.

"What? What is it, what does it say?" Julian asked, hating being left out.

"Says he is _allowed_ and _welcome_ to stay at school for break," Derek said bitterly. "And it is _recommended_. Like his dad is trying to keep him away."

"It doesn't matter though," Logan said to Julian, shaking his head. "I really-I don't care. I wanted to stay anyway."

"Does it honestly…?" Julian took it and looked at it. "I wish I knew a curse, a _really bad one_, that I could do to him, and he'd regret ever treating you like-"

"Stop." Logan stood up. "Just stop. It doesn't even matter to me, okay? It doesn't matter." His lip quivered and he strode off quickly.

Julian and Derek looked at each other. "I have-" Derek started to say.

"I know. Go to Quidditch, I'll find Logan. I'll deal with it." Julian stood up and sighed. "I just hate that he has to go through this."

"I hate that we can't do anything about it," Derek said, also getting up. "Go and be with him, though."

Julian nodded. "I will. Good luck at practice."

Derek smiled a little. "Good luck to you too."

* * *

><p>Julian found Logan sitting at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He sat next to him. The wind whipped him. It blew his hair. It stung his eyes.<p>

He didn't notice.

"I-" he started.

"Don't talk," Logan said quickly. He had tears in his eyes, waiting to brim over, just waiting, hovering.

Julian nodded. He moved his hand closer to Logan's, and Logan jerked his own away.

"Do you not understand?" Logan asked, looking to him, the tears quivering on the edge, ready to fall at any moment. "I just want to be alone."

"But you aren't," Julian replied. "You aren't alone."

Logan didn't say anything. He appraised Julian for a few moments, and then looked up at the blue sky. He laid back on the green grass and the invisible wind whistled through the brown trees. The grey castle cast a shadow across the grounds, the navy blue lake rippled, the Quidditch Pitch reflected all the colors of the Houses, green, silver, blue, bronze, golden, red, yellow, black.

"It's beautiful," Julian said, lying back also. He stared up at the clouds moving across the sky.

"Yeah," Logan agreed shortly.

Silence fell but for the wind and birds and rustling of leaves and the occasional shout from the Pitch. It was comfortable. The blond and brunet lay together in the middle of their world, as content as they could be.


	14. Chapter 14

**I know that I'm the most unreliable author in the history of the world. I'm definitely aware of that. And yet, I continue to let you all down... I'm really, really sorry about the huuuuuuge delay here. That's all I can really say.**

**So, I still don't own the characters or setting or anything.**

**And here's chapter 14:**

**Chapter 14**

They all stayed at the castle for holiday break. When Julian got the disappointed yet approving letter from his mum, he jumped up and down screaming. When Derek got the rather detached go-ahead from his parents, he stuck his broomstick (which he'd been polishing) in the air in victory.

Logan watched them both, sulking a little. Why couldn't his dad love him like Julian and Derek's parents loved them? Their letters were signed with 'Love, Mum' or 'Love, Your Parents' or whatever, and what did he get?

_Logan – Not only is it allowed and welcome for you to stay at school over Christmas break, but it is highly recommended._

It wasn't even signed. It was like his dad knew that no one else would be sending Logan mail. That hurt his gut and made him feel like throwing up, especially at his friends' loving letters from their loving families.

Logan was torn between feeling like he'd done something wrong, and hating his father.

* * *

><p>It snowed Christmas Eve. Julian, Logan, and Derek walked across the grounds, the castle looming above them, talking and laughing about a story Derek was telling about a witch who tried to dye her hair purple but instead dyed her skin purple, and her husband thought she was a monster when he came home from work, and he killed her.<p>

"I don't believe that," Logan said, even as he clutched his stomach, which ached from his laughter.

"I don't think it's funny! She died!" Julian said, chuckling anyway.

"It's true, Logan!" Derek said defensively. "I _swear_. I read it in – in a magazine."

"Witch Weekly, probably," Logan said sideways to Julian, who erupted into laughter again. It was like someone had put a laughing charm on all of them. All day they'd been giddy: from when they'd been awoken before dawn by Julian falling off his bed and shrieking when he hit the ground; to breakfast, where Professor Longbottom had tripped and fallen on his way to the head table, then got up, cheeks burnt red; to when they were sitting in the library, trying to be quiet and get some of their break work done, but ended up looking at each other and giggling for no reason; to now, mid-afternoon on the grounds.

"I don't read Witch Weekly!" Derek exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was absolutely indignant.

"Suuuuure ya don't," Julian said, grinning. "We know what you do when you get bored."

"If I read it...it would just be for…the pictures," Derek said lamely.

Logan raised his eyebrows. "Witch Weekly has pictures of guys."

Derek cursed under his breath. "Okay. You guys got me. I'm gay too."

"I knew it!" Julian exclaimed, snapping his fingers.

They all dissolved into laughter once more.

"Okay," Derek said, catching his breath, "seriously. I don't read Witch Weekly. So." Derek stuck his tongue out at his best friends.

"Gotcha." Logan winked at him and Derek rolled his eyes.

"It's almost Christmas." Logan yawned. He was sprawled across one of the couches in the Slytherin common room. They were the only three there; of all the other Slytherins, only four others had stayed on this Christmas, and they were all in their chambers.

"Just a couple more hours," Julian said. He was sitting with his back against the stone wall, right next to the fire, reading a book by firelight.

Derek was conked out in a chair nearby. His mouth was open and he was probably drooling (neither Julian nor Logan wanted to look that close).

"So do you feel really bad about leaving your mom?" Logan asked. He watched the green flames jumping up, receding, licking the air. He did not look at Julian.

"Sort of," Julian said after a moment.

"Will you stay next year?" Logan asked, even more tentatively than before.

Julian closed the book carefully. "Probably," he said. "I think there's a point where…you have to make decisions based on yourself and what you want, and not what your parents want." He looked at Logan meaningfully only to find that Logan refused to return his gaze.

Logan traced a pattern on the dark green velvet of the couch. "I feel like your words are a double-edged sword."

"I would have said double meaning."

"I meant what I said," Logan snapped.

Julian curled back. Okay. "Well. Yeah. I guess they kind of do." Was he ready for this conversation? Every time he tried to help or comfort Logan, he basically got snapped at for awhile until finally Logan conceded and let it happen. He didn't feel like getting snapped at now.

"He hates me, Julian," Logan said quietly.

Julian nodded sympathetically but didn't say anything.

"I didn't do anything. It isn't my fault. And he just hates me. I mean…he's never been particularly _fond _of me but…he's not supposed to just hate me! He's my dad! Right?" Logan looked at Julian finally. "Right?!"

Julian nodded quickly. "Yes. Yeah. Right. Of course."

"You don't think that," Logan said.

"I do, Lo, I really do. He should love you. He's your dad and he should love you. He should have treated you right from the very beginning, and right now he should accept you. It's terrible that he doesn't. And I'm so, so sorry." Julian said all of this very sincerely, looking at Logan, and Logan, for once, didn't look away. The green flame flickering in his eyes made them even greener.

They stared at each other for a little while, or a long while. Julian broke the gaze first. He stood up and walked over to the couch. He picked up Logan's feet and sat down underneath them, setting them back to rest on his lap. They sat like that for awhile. Logan's legs tingled a little from where they touched Julian's. Julian's legs tingled a little from where they touched Logan's. Both were glad the other couldn't hear their thoughts.

* * *

><p>"HAPPY CHRISTMAS!" Julian was jumping up and down on Logan's bed the next morning to wake him up. "IT'S CHRISTMAS AND YOU HAVE PRESENTS!"<p>

Logan sat up, bleary-eyed. "'s too early," he mumbled.

Derek was sitting up in the bed next to him, nodding a little in agreement.

"YOU HAVE PRESENTS TOO DEREK!" Julian exclaimed, jumping off Logan's bed and landing neatly on the floor. "And me! I'm so excited for you guys to open my presents for you!"

"Yeah." Logan rubbed his eyes. "Let's go back to bed."

"It's Christmas morning!"

"In my book, you open presents whenever you happen to get around to it," Logan said, waving a hand dismissively. "Now. Bed." He laid back down.

"Well in MY book, you open presents _right now_ and oh, look what time it is, right now, and look what book we're looking at…MINE!" He pulled Logan's covers off of him, then turned and did the same to Derek.

Derek groaned and cursed and Logan did the same, but they got up anyway and looked at their piles of presents at the ends of their beds.

Julian had three presents (one from his mum and one from Logan and one from Derek), Derek had four (two from his parents and one from Logan and one from Julian), and Logan only had two (from Julian and Derek). Logan pretended not to notice that his father hadn't sent him anything, and Julian and Derek followed suit.

Derek's presents consisted of a new broomkeeping kit and new Quidditch gloves from his parents, a book called _Use Your Magic to Impress Muggles!_ from Julian, and a poster for his favorite Quidditch team from Logan.

Julian got a new book about Harry Potter that was written by 'Hermione Granger with help from Ronald Weasley' from his mum, a box of candy from Derek, and an enchanted globe that contained fake werewolves walking about who, when you poked the glass, would jump up on the glass and growl at you for quite some time (usually until you apologized). This launched Julian and Derek into a ten-minute discussion about Remus Lupin, which Logan only managed to quell by tearing the paper off his present from Derek, ripping it in half, and stuffing one half into Derek's mouth and one half into Julian's.

Logan's presents were a Slytherin hat and scarf from Julian (which Julian admitted after a little while that he'd hand-knit himself ["I GOT BORED THIS SUMMER!"]), and a book about Transfiguration from Derek.

After they opened their presents, they all wandered down to the Great Hall, where they enjoyed their breakfasts, then sat there for awhile talking and arguing and laughing.

That night, as Logan fell asleep in his four-poster with the forest green curtains wrapped around him, he felt completely calm and happy. It had been one of the best Christmases of his life. He hoped he might be lucky enough to have more like that.


End file.
